Christmas is now a blur, right?! I had photos to prove it did actually happen and that an awful lot of our Christmas decorations were handmade but, absolute eejit that I am, I deleted them all a few days ago. Clever, huh? I feel like such a muppet.
January was so full of hankies and phlegm and sore throats! I was doing battle with a cold and lost, it became a three week long flu instead. It doesn't feel like it's gone completely, hence my rather zombie-like look of late...luckily without the craving for human flesh though :)
On top of all that my mental health is terribly poor (to be brutally honest) and my ability to craft has been taken from me, right when I needed it most. Turns out what I need is rest and a heck of a lot of it.
I am not one for idleness and much prefer the idea that I can do anything, everything; or at least I feel I ought to be able to. So it's come as a shock to find myself disregarding the plans and 'should does' and instead having the grace to know when to shut down for a while. I thought, I desperately thought, that I was going to be in a better place by now but I'm not. Even this very morning I have been fighting back the tears and desire to give up. I still put the pressure on everyday and I. am. exhausted.
The idea was... January + Rest = February + so much productivity :)
Thus January has been incredibly quiet and yes, my flu has gone but my depression and other mental health difficulties remain. Feeling a bit battered and bruised, fragile and nervous, I am slowly returning to Cherry Blossom Tattoo activities.....
* birds to simply finish off, a few to make *
* new plans for photography to embark on *
* more animals and flowers to add to my felty goodness selection *
* the fab art postcard swap I am involved in under Kat *
* there's a load of felt upstairs and a room to paint, in 'sweet dreams' by Dulux *
All in good time, right?...The world is just unfolding as it should. I am not stronger than time, than fate, than providence. And life ought to feel better for the knowing of that but I still I sit here feeling mocked.